Reactions
by gethsemane342
Summary: How do you cope when you're sixteen and pregnant? Oneshot take on Annie's reaction.


Disclaimer: I don't own Darren Shan

Geth342: I hope you enjoy this. By the by, before anyone says that Steve Leopard is out of character, this is all from Annie's point of view. As far as she's concerned, Steve is absolutely amazing.

Reactions

This is stupid.

I'm not pregnant. I can't be. I know I'm not. But then, if I'm so sure, why am I finding it so hard to start the test? Why am I even doing the test? Okay, just because I've been throwing up every morning for the last week, it doesn't mean anything. I'm probably just ill. And just because I'm a bit late- okay, two months late- it's not important. After all, I've always been a bit irregular. I'm just overreacting.

But it's always better to be on the safe side. I'll just do the test, see how wrong my fears are and then laugh about it with Steve. After all, we've always used protection.

Haven't we? Suddenly, I'm not so sure. Maybe I should do that test now. Just in case… What do I have to do again? I read the instructions a minute ago but my mind has gone blank. I read them again. Just add urine to the white indicator stick. Wait for a minute. If it turns blue then my fears are correct. If it stays white (which I know it will) then there's no problem, although I should probably go to the doctor about my dodgy stomach. Simple.

I follow the directions, put the stick on the cistern and then turn away to begin counting down the minute. As I count down, I consider the possibilities. I mean, I'm not even sixteen yet. We've only slept together three times. Besides, I'm sure that I've read somewhere that the chances of a couple conceiving at any random encounter are low. Or was that the other way around? Well, that's not the point.

A minute is up. I know that I should just turn around but it's so hard. What if…what if I turn around and I'm wrong? What will I do?

Come on Annie. It's just a turn. One simple movement. How hard can it be? Come on. I'll do it on three. One, two…three.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Tears run down my face. I'm not sure how long I've been sitting on this bench for. It feels like an eternity but it can't be that long. At least, I don't think it can. My thoughts drift back to my empty house. Are my parents at home yet? Are they worried about where I've gone?

What am I going to do? How am I going to tell them that I've gone and done the very stupid deed of getting myself pregnant? How am I going to face Steve? He'll be angry, I know he will. I know it takes two to do what we did but isn't it always the case that the man gets angry at the woman? He's so perfect, I sometimes can't believe he's mine…but sometimes, when I look into his eyes, it's like I'm looking at a stranger. Sometimes, I feel like he might snap at any minute. What if he does? What if he chooses this moment to reveal that he's actually a murdering psychopath? Occasionally, I think he's too good to be true. What if…

"Annie? What's wrong? What happened?" Someone says and he rushes towards me. I glance at him and groan silently. The man himself is here. Now what do I do?

I try to tell him that nothing is wrong but what comes out is another round of sobbing. He holds me closer and whispers soothing, meaningless nothings in my ear. I calm down after a few minutes and apologise, to which he smiles and kisses me lightly on the cheek, saying that I have nothing to apologise for. This has the opposite effect to what he's trying to achieve because I remember why I am sitting on this bench and begin to cry again. He asks me what is wrong.

"Uh'm prugana-' I manage before I dissolve into more tears.

"Ssh, ssh, it's okay," he whispers, "just take your time. Whatever it is, I'm sure we can work it out." I smile through my tears: this is what I love about him. He's so calm when bad things happen. I don't deserve him.

"We can't," I whisper. "We can't work it out." A sense of hopelessness has crept over me. I haven't really felt like this since Darren passed away.

Steve is understandably confused. I don't suppose that I'm making much sense. He keeps asking me what's wrong and why we can't work through it. The only good thing is that his cuddle is very reassuring. Maybe I can tell him.

I whisper it. It's one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I start to apologise but then I stop. His face has lit right up and there is a sort of wild joy in his eyes. A slow grin is spreading on his face, a sharp contrast to my tear stained face.

He looks at me and then realises that I'm confused. He stops grinning but the joy in his eyes stays.

"It's not your fault," he says softly, "I must have forgotten to use protection…it's a two way thing you know." He tightens his hold on me, moving my head to his chest.

"You're…you're not angry?" I whisper into his chest, half hopefully, half fearfully.

He moves one hand to under my chin and makes me tilt my head towards him. "Of course I'm not," he says, smiling again, "it's a good thing."

Now I'm confused. I know children are great, and I've always wanted to be a mother, but I've always planned to have children when I am in my twenties. Not whilst I'm still at school. So why is me being pregnant a good thing?

He spots my confused look and apologises before explaining that he has always wanted to be a father. "I know this is…unexpected, but I really want it to work," he whispers. "This is wonderful."

I have stopped crying completely by now, and I smile up at him. He is handling this so calmly and I am…well, not. "So you want me to keep it?" I ask.

He nods. "I would…I would love to be a father. I would do anything to be the father of _your_ children." I blush because it's such a romantic thing to say. Until now, I've been considering having an abortion- although whether I could willingly let the life of my own child be taken is something I'm not sure about- but maybe I could keep it. No, not I. _We_ could keep it. The more I think about it, the more the idea appeals to me.

"When should we tell my parents?" I ask. It's a shame that his mother has passed away because then she could know as well. My parents won't be happy when they find out but I'm sure Steve can persuade them. He is, after all, one of the most persuasive people I know. I think my growing stomach is a testament to that- if he had not persuaded me to date him, I doubt that I would be in this way. And if it had been any other person, I don't think I would even be this calm about the baby.

"NO!" He shouts forcefully, making me jump. I have never heard him shout like that. "No," he repeats, a little quieter, "I mean, not yet." He looks at me and sees me trembling. "Sorry," he says, smiling now. "It's just…well, if we tell your parents now, they're going to be angry at both of us. They don't even know that we're together."

"But when can we tell them?" I ask, more than a little put out by this.

He has stopped holding me to his chest and we are standing arms length apart. I'm not sure when we did this but now, he puts one strong hand on my shoulder and tells me that we can inform my parents when he returns. I look at him, now completely confused. Return? Where is he going? I ask him this question.

His face looks pained. "I'm going to have to leave. Not for a long time. I'm going to get a good job, earn lots of money for you and the baby. When I return, we'll tell your parents and show how we've sorted everything out. And, hopefully, they'll give us their blessing." He says this earnestly, his eyes shining with his dream for the future. There's something in his tone as well. Maybe I'm getting just a little bit ahead of myself, but I think that when he returns, he's going to ask me to marry him. I hope so. I think I would feel a bit odd if we had a child and weren't married, but maybe that's just me.

"Alright," I say, a bit breathlessly, "but don't be gone for too long." I'm mocking him now. It's quite amazing, considering that not fifteen minutes ago I was sitting on a bench, sobbing my heart out as though the end of the world were coming. He laughs softly.

"I won't Annie. You know I won't." He looks down at me and kisses me, softly at first but it gets fiercer and deeper. Soon, he has his hands up my top and my hands are roaming the muscles on his back.

I break the kiss first. "We should stop," I murmur, "considering that this is how we got this-" here, I put my hand on my stomach, "-little surprise."

He moves back reluctantly. "You're right." He mutters. "But I wish you weren't." He adds with a wicked grin, making me laugh. He puts his head by my ear and whispers, "I guess I won't see you for a while. But when I do, we'll tell your parents. Until then, I love you." Then he bends down to my abdomen and adds, "I love you too, little baby."

He gives me a goodbye kiss and this time, we do manage to control ourselves. I watch him leave sadly, then turn away and begin the walk back to my house. As I walk, I consider how lucky I am that I love Steve. In a way, he almost fills the empty feeling I've had ever since Darren died. And the way he dealt with me being pregnant was astounding. I'm sure that most boys would have run a mile.

By the time I get home, I'm in a good mood. There's a large smile on my face and the tears from before have been wiped away. My hands keep subconsciously moving to my stomach and, just before I enter the house, I have to force myself to keep my hands in my jacket pockets.

My parents are home by the time I enter the house. Mum asks me where I've been so I tell her that I went out for a walk. She spots my grinning face and decides that I haven't been attacked. She comments on how happy I look and asks me why I'm so cheerful. I just say that it's a good day as I walk upstairs to my room. If only you knew mum, I think. If only you knew.


End file.
